Thankfulness

As 2010 draws to a close what are you most thankful for? This has been a topic of discussion in our house, and it has centered around more than just Christmas gifts. We’re trying to help our kids understand the magnitude of how unbelievably lucky we are; how thankful we should be to have this comfortable life in this comfortable home.

We have had some incredible teaching moments in our home as of late. Christmas Eve was a little unusual. We attended our local church, as we do every Christmas. However, our church also serves as a homeless warming center on Friday nights. This year, instead of making the warming center guests wait around for our service to be finished, our church leadership invited the warming center to be a part of our service. Everyone was welcomed in and people from all different walks of life read scripture, sang Christmas songs and took communion together. After the service we all ate a meal together. The boundaries of haves and have-nots was blurred, if even for a few hours one night.

I cannot imagine what it would be like to be homeless. To sleep on the streets; not to have the warmth of home, the luxury of full cupboards, and a plush bed to sleep in. I take for granted that Christmas Eve means coming home to twinkling Christmas lights on a tree surrounded by gifts. Whatever challenges I face, they are mild compared to the challenges faced by those who are homeless. I have never wondered where my next meal would come from. On a cold nights I have never wondered how to get warm.

I am thankful for all of the comforts that I have; a warm bed, a fridge full of food, a hot shower. I am thankful for friends who, regardless of their beliefs, baked cookies for our church to hand out to the homeless.

My children have played on and off with their various new toys, and I know that they are thankful for them. But I hope that when they remember this Christmas that their memory contains more than toys. When they look back my wish is for them to recall the dinner we shared on Christmas Eve, and the gifts that they gave; instead of the what they received.

Exhaustion

Are your kids hyper? Mine are hyper and they are driving me crazy.

I don’t know if it’s the extraordinary amount of sugar that they’ve ingested or the excitement from opening box after box of new stuff. It could be the unusual amount of time we’ve spent at home, inside due to coughs and colds. Perhaps it’s the additional sleep they’ve been getting…or maybe it’s due to lack of rest I’m not entirely sure. Whatever the case may be I’m not sure I’m going to be able to make it through tomorrow, while my husband is away at work.

I swear my youngest ran around in circles today for two minutes straight. At dinner he tried to eat his mashed potatoes without using his hands.

Then again maybe it’s me. Maybe I’ve ingested too much sugar. I have been pretty excited about the cool gifts I got this Christmas. Plus we haven’t gone outside as much as I’d like. Maybe I’m overly tired, or overly rested. Normally this stuff doesn’t get to me like it did today. But today my brain hurt. It’s a good thing DH was here…we were both going a little crazy. So we took turns dealing with the drama and the craziness.

I know that tomorrow is a new day. Maybe we’ll go outside; hit the park or an indoor pool. I’ll wear them out somehow. Because I can’t go on for another 8 days like today. I may have to be peeled up off the floor.

What do you do when your kids are hyper? Are there any special activities that wear them out?

Is it you or is it your kids that are the problem?

Slowing Down

How do you slow down at Christmas? I mean, is it even possible? Amidst the hustle and bustle of Christmas is it possible to enjoy what it is we’re trying to celebrate?

This year we cut out some of our annual traditions in order to make the season less stressful and more meaningful. We didn’t do our annual gingerbread party, we attempted to make gifts a more meaningful exchange. We’re incorporating giving to the homeless as part of our new traditions. And yet, this week has brought with it a to do list that has more tasks than it has fun.

And then in the midst of it all, my daughter taught me a very important lesson.

Yesterday I had a list a mile long of stuff to accomplish in order to make THIS Christmas season “perfect”. I had cleaning to do, party trays to arrange, laundry to wash, scrapbooks to finish, photos to order and emails to send. It seemed as though I would never get to sit down.

My sweet daughter pestered me once or twice to watch her puppet show. I acknowledged her and continued on my way, saying that I would be by in a minute to watch…after I had changed the laundry. Minutes turned into an hour and finally she stopped me and told me I had to come and see her puppet show…RIGHT NOW.

So I obliged.

Boy am I glad I did. Her show was all about the true meaning of Christmas, told as only a seven year old could. I wish I had taped it. As I sat there with tears in my eyes, watching her tell the Christmas story, I realized that she gets it, probably more than I do. She knows that it’s not about the loot or the food or even the decorations. I am so busy planning for the perfect Christmas, when all I have to do is enjoy what is before me.

Of course that doesn’t mean that I won’t still plan, organize and try to create a magical Christmas Eve and day. But I will sit more, even when it doesn’t seem like I have time.

So what about you? Had any of those aha moments lately? How are you trying to slow down this Christmas?

Letting Go

I am not the fun parent in my house. It’s not that I’m not a fun person (I think).  I just happen to be a task orientated person.  So normally getting the task accomplished is the main priority. It works great most of the time, because my husband is a pretty fun guy and he’s great with the kids.  They all have a good time, and I make sure everything gets done.  

However it also means I’m less fun.  

So my kids don’t always consider baking to be the most fun activity in our home.  Most of the time they’d rather go off and play than bake with me.  Really who could blame them?  I barely let them touch the measuring spoons, lest they spill the sugar!  I normally find that baking with them is much slower, messier and all around more stressful for me. I’m so worried about the end result that I forget the reason I’m baking with them in the first place.

HOWEVER, we are in that magical Christmas season, and baking and decorating cookies with my kids is a must.  So this year, with much effort I LET.GO.

I let go of making sure the ingredients were measured just right.  I let go of the sugar that got spill on the floor.  I even let go of making sure the dough got rolled out properly…most of the time.  Most importantly I let go of what the end result would be. 

You see my idea of a well decorated cookie looks something like this…

But in my kids eyes the point of decorating a cookie is simply to see just how much candy can be loaded on the candy vehicle.  So my kids idea of a well decorated cookie looks something like this…

or this…

or even this…

 

And truthfully it was worth it.  Because even though I will not eat most of what we made today, my kids had a great time and so did I. 

So what do you have trouble letting go of?  Who is the fun person at your house? 

New Ideas

When you have a bad day, what brings you out of it? How do you cope with the trials of life? I'm changing my blog a bit and want your input!

This blog is no longer going to be about MY family...but about the idea of family. It's about being a Mom and finding support from other moms. I've had too many conversations that made me realize that Mom's need some encouragement and support. So that's my idea. I'll start the conversation...but my dream is that everyone else gets to chime in to keep it going.

So to start I'm going to post something I wrote recently while I was away on a trip for my writing. If you're my friend on Facebook and you don't believe in God...please don't give up on the idea of this blog. I had to start with this post, because truly when my life gets crazy and when I'm the most hard on myself...the idea below is what I always come back to.

But before we start I have a few ground rules about the comments.

• Respect where everyone is coming from belief-wise, family structure, lifestyle. This means that people who believe in God have to respect the opinions of people who don't...and vice versa.
• I'm not doing this to fix anyone: If you're posting a comment offer compassion and empathy with abandon.
• Be gracious to yourself. Speak kindly about yourself

Okay...here goes...

Being a mom is hard work. It’s not helping that us mom’s are incredibly hard on ourselves. I daresay that if we were our own bosses, our performance reviews would be abysmal. Moms commiserate on weight issues, child behavior issues, housework, stress, the crazy overachieving mom next door, or the lazy mom who never does anything with her kids. None of us are living up to the super mom expectation, yet for some reason we continue to hold it up as an example of who we want to be. We are overly critical of ourselves and each other. And we are making ourselves crazy and tired and just plain unexciting.

So why are so many of us doing our task without passion? Where is the fire, the inspiration, the contagious joy for motherhood?

²⁸ “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

Mothers spend so much time caring for those around us that we lose sight of who we are. We lose sight of the woman that God created, the woman God loves.

If you’re like me you just zipped right by those last words and kept reading. I want you to stop now. STOP! Take a deep breath and pull your shoulders back. Sit up a little straighter because this is important. Now…God loves you. Yes, God loves you even without your make-up. Even after you’ve eaten one too many candies out of your child’s Halloween bucket. He loves you even when you snap at your daughter while she’s getting ready to go off to school. He loves you just the way you are and he will keep loving you…No. Matter. What.

As a mother, have you ever looked into the tear streaked face of your child, held that round face in your hands and said “I love you”? Have you ever sat in a room with a petulant child while you were ignored by him and said “I love you”, even when he won’t look you in the eye? Have you ever insisted your teenager hug you, just to be sure that she knows how much she’s loved? That is how God sees us. No matter what we do to him.

I don’t know about you, but just hearing that adds a little light to my step.

Okay...now it's your turn. What cheers you up? What can make a bad day turn around? What inspires you and brings you joy? And how do you make that a part of your life?

Life

Two months since my last post…it’s hard to believe! I didn’t expect to step away from online life so harshly…but truly, life has been a little hectic around here, as I imagine it is in every household with children finishing up a school year.

A brief synopsis of our life for the last two months…I DID get my photos back (Thank you God!), Sydney practiced and played lots of soccer and will graduate from Kindergarten on Tuesday. Grant is almost finished with his four year old preschool class and has found a love for the sport of lacrosse. Cole has been his little social butterfly self, playing with his best friend Gavin, best friend Brody and his best friend Cole, lucky little guy! I’ve been working out SIX days a week in preparation for a longer triathlon than I have done before. Brian is also in training and has actually enjoyed a seven mile run recently....yea for Colorado trails! Needless to say we have lots of fun photos of our last few months…so I thought I’d post a few.

Sydney was ready for Spring…too bad after this we had like SIX snowstorms!

Sydney’s class trip to the zoo at the beginning of May…the boys really love that she’s in Kindergarten.

Grant, Sydney and Cole with Great Grandpa Boonstra.

And now, I am tired…I’ve been up since 5am and I need some rest :) Stay tuned for our next round of photos...what life looks like from Sydney's angle.

God has a sense of humor

I have no cool pictures to post of our latest snow day (which was beautiful by the way). I have very little in the form of written blog. The reason....Well my computer is currently sitting lifeless on my family room floor. This is now I know God has a sense of humor.

After my last post, I went on my way setting my own fun goals for being more productive but still spent my Sunday on my laptop planning my upcoming Disney vacation. Lo and behold in the middle of said planning, my laptop simply shut down. When that tiny piece of machinery tried to turn back on it could not find an operating system and, as a result, sits lifeless on my family room floor.

I know there's a blog in there about not finding an operating system in life. Maybe...when my laptop is back up and running and I am able (please God let me be able) to recover the five months of precious photos I may have lost, I will write that blog. However in the mean time I am unable to spend my day emailing, Facebooking and otherwise wasting my time on that seemingly indispensible machine.

So, while I will be VERY sad if I lost those photos (totally my own silly fault), I am thankful that I have been given this gift of living my life unplugged. I'm enjoying it. My kids are enjoying it.
My DH is enjoying it (all those to dos are getting done, don't cha know?). And I imagine, God smiling down on it all. Perhaps laughing a little at my type A'ness and at the result of his little life disruption. Because He does have a sense of humor after all.

A little overwhelmed

So I've been spending a little time exploring the blog world. I have known that there are some bloggers out there who are crafty. I have been to Etsy and seen the amazing things that people are creating at home but really...there are some crazy crafters out there. There's a ladies blog devoting to wood working,another one who posts new sewing projects all the time...who made a play house cover for her table...It's amazing. Really.Amazing.

So I sit here, a little overwhelmed because in my day I am lucky to get my house picked up, dishes done and spend a little quality time with my kiddos. So my question is, how do they do it? How is a person able to build a child's play house out of felt, with children in their house and live to blog about it?

There is part of me that wants to say that they can't. That something must be falling between the cracks and that they are pretending. That may be true. But there's another piece of me that hopes that it's not. That they are those amazing women who love to sit and play with their kids and then craft all night...that those women really are out there. That it is possible.

Don't get me wrong. I'm happy with where I am. I have great kids, my house is relatively clean and my laundry is (mostly) done. I'm able to spend time with my Maker each day and even manage to get a work out in here and there. But maybe just maybe I'll find time to add in some crafting. But for now, I'm just happy to look at what others are doing :)

True Confessions

This past weekend I spent two lovely days in the mountains of Colorado, without my children, at a women’s retreat. However, before I tell you about the amazing women, the great worship, the terrific speaker I want to get a few things off my chest.

1. I spend too much time on my computer. I check my email too often, surf the web, browse through Facebook and generally waste time on my laptop.
2. I don’t like gardening. I love pretty flowers, love the idea of gardening but quite simply don’t like the time that it takes to make a garden happen.
3. There are a lot of vegetables and other healthy foods that I just do not enjoy. This is a problem because I live in Colorado where EVERYONE eats healthy. I even make my kids eat some of it because I know it’s healthy, but honestly, I think I’d rather have a twinkie!
4. I love my children but I do not love pretending to be someone in Hannah Montana’s audience, nor do I love pretending to be some clone from Star Wars. Let them bring me stories to read all day…that’s my idea of heaven!
5. I don’t like cleaning. I don’t like picking up, filing things away, scrubbing toilets, mopping floors or really, anything else that is involved in making my house presentable.

Well, I could go on but you might be here all day. My weekend away was all about being messy, and how letting others see our messiness is what brings about genuine relationships. God isn’t disgusted by our messiness, so why are we? So I’ve decided to share some of my messiness. Rest assured I’m working on it. I do clean my house from time to time…and I do grow flowers. But I’m okay with being me. So now, I think I’ll go have a twinkie :)

P.S. In the spirit of messiness I've changed my header to include a photo of my messy kids, because I love them just as they are.

Just Breathe

This past Christmas I received an espresso maker. I can make my own mochas, espressos, and much to my childrens delight, steamed chocolate milk. I've discovered in the weeks since owning this small little appliance that making a mocha is an art. It takes time and because of that, I no longer down my drink as I'm walking out the door. I don't take it in a travel mug while I drive my kids to school. Nope,, I sit down and savor my mocha. I take the time to enjoy it. It seems silly to spend so much time making my drink just to waste it on the go.

Not coincidentally I'm also currently reading a book called Breathe:Making Space for God in a Hectic Life. It's a fabulous book and well worth the read. Thanks to the book and my newly discovered enjoyment of coffee time, I'm encouraged to take that same space in other areas of my life. I'm in no rush to push my kids to grow up. I'm enjoying my time with them (most of the time). I wish I could remember this more. I wish that I could ignore the to dos on my list more often and do the things that make life more enjoyable. It is a constant battle...the one between my to do list and the list of what I ought to be doing. They're different, you know. My to do list is composed of things that type A people think need to be done. Laundry, cleaning, telephone calls and the like. My ought to do list is composed of park visits, nerf gun games and dancing with my kids. I can't say I'd rather be doing the ought to do list. I am a type A personality. However, I do enjoy my children. Maybe a type A can change. Or maybe I just need to add "dance with my kids" to my to do list. Whatever the case may be, the battle wages on.

The joyful part of this post? I discovered today that I can download "Last Train to Awesome Town" from iTunes! Let the dancing begin!

Have you ever discovered something about yourself that was a complete surprise? Like the Seinfeld episode where Elaine discovers that she can't dance. She really thought she was good when in fact her dancing is an embarrassment! Well it happened to me today and I'm struggling to accept it.

Through the wonder of modern technology, I discovered today that I CANNOT sing. I mean I always knew that I wasn't going to be a rock star but I really thought that I could carry a tune. I sing songs to my kids before bed and they never complain. I sing along with all the songs on my iPod, in my car and at home and each time I have assumed that the melody coming out of my mouth isn't offensive. I sing loudly and proudly at church, figuring that I'm at least on key. I mean really, I sound good in my own ears!

Turns out every one of those assumptions is dead wrong. I mean, really, I think my DH should have told me by now that when I sing it sounds like nails on a chalk board! I may hit one or two notes but then there is cracking and the sounds that are coming out of my mouth are not at all melodic.

It's sad too because I love music. I love to discover new songs, ones that I immediately download and add to my favorites. I love rediscovering old favorites and singing along. I am almost always listening to music. It soothes my soul. I'm the driver on the road next to you that's singing along to her radio and doesn't care that you are watching. So to discover that when I open my mouth not only am I not soothing someone else's soul but there's a chance that the sound is hurting their ears...well it's just a big disappointment to me. So now I have vowed to stop singing along. The sound that I heard today will ring in my ears each time I open my mouth.

So where is the Joy in this? Right at this moment...it's that I know I now have the story I've been looking for to tell at my upcoming women's retreat. I've been racking my brain for a story that I can tell to put the women at ease. To welcome them to a weekend where we will be revealing our true selves, taking off the masks and accepting who God made us to be. To know that God loves us just as we are. So I suppose that is my other piece of joy. Maybe from now on I'll just sing when it's just me and God...because He loves me just the way I am. Noise and all.