Life is Too Short

Our household has been put on pause for the last two days. All of the activities, stuff and other goings on have been cancelled or otherwise avoided so that we can enjoy the blanket of white stuff outside our window. I love snow days. There is a magic that exists when the world is covered in white. The world is clean, and bright. There is beauty to be found all around. In the snow covered trees to the sparkle of the sun on the snow. Sadly it doesn't last. Often times it is interupted by fighting children, life responsibilities and warmer weather.

However as my children sleep from the long mid morning sledding adventure I can feel the magic of this snow day. We have no where to be, and just for today I do not feel the need to get stuff done. I wish every day were like this. A time that I could cherish what it is to be a child...enjoying the moment, without thinking of what else I have to do. The freeness to take time to breathe, look around and enjoy that moment.

I've been working on the skill of breathing as of late. Not breathing in the physical, if I don't I would die sense. But in the emotional, life giving sense. You see when I challenged myself to "love others without strings" little did I know what kind of journey I was in for. I found it difficult to love those in my every day. How exactly was I supposed to love people I'm not even connected to? I love my family but in the chaos that is three young children I was having a tough time liking them in the messiness. I was frustrated with days when I had just cleaned and those three beautiful "angels" left legos on the floor, car rides where, if I heard one more child whine, I was going to stop the car and make them all walk home, or my personal favorite, I would be making a quick telephone call but at that very second one of my beloved darlings would need help from me instantly and so would poke, tug or yell at me to get my attention! I also dearly love my husband but sometimes I wish he could put the dishes actually in the dishwasher instead of just on TOP of it. So I was in a place of wanting to love everyone but I wasn't doing a very good job of loving the few I had been entrusted with.

However God began, slowly but surely, reminding me that I couldn't possibly love others all on my own. Before I could love others I first had to remember how much he loves me...and he does even when I leave legos on the floor or I don't put the dishes in the dishwasher. In fact he loves me so very much that he sent his son here to suffer so that I could spend eternity with him. If he can love me that much than maybe, with his help, I can love those around me, even when it's not easy. He also reminded me that it is when I focus on the important things that it is easier to love. It is when I get caught up with the mundane trivial things in life that I am most frustrated when difficulties arise. So I'm learning to breathe and to take time to be content, whatever my circumstances. To find joy in the face of my two year old as he leaps from his top bunk, or the innocence of my six year old as she retells the story of her hurt feelings on the playground or even in the mischievous smile of my four year old as he pokes his sister for the third time with the knights sword...just because.

Perfect is Boring

So I sit at my computer this morning, thoughts rolling through my brain. I need to put them to paper (or laptop) or they just won't go away. I've been pondering some things for a long time and I think I've come up with a project for myself for the next little while. I'm typing it here because I'd like to document it's progress. Since I'm pretty sure no one checks this blog anymore (since I never post anyway!) I think it's a safe place to document my new adventure.

We visited a new church on Sunday to watch a family member be baptized. The service was beautiful and the speaker was quite good. In fact I've been pondering some of the things he said for two days. The verse was 1 Peter 3: 8-9. His topic was being a good listener in a sermon series on "Doing Life Together". Since he ended his sermon with a plug for his churches life groups I can only assume that his objective was to drive people to join a Life Group. What I've been pondering however, were his statistics on loneliness in America. He stated that 1 in 4 Americans would say they don't have ANYONE that they feel they can really talk to. The average American has 2 good friends with which he or she feels safe to share. In an age of social networking applications one might think that this wouldn't be possible. But clearly it is and I believe the evidence of it is all around us.

So I began to think about what life would look like if those of us who followed Christ stopped living in a L'Oreal commercial and started really following Christs teaching. What if our goal wasn't to convert our neighbors to Christ but simply to love them? Would those numbers change?

So my new litte project? Well it's to simply do just that. I'm going to attempt to love my neighbors (whether they live near me or not), with no expectations. I'm going to try to listen more than I talk. I will attempt to love my neighbor as myself. I know this isn't going to be easy and it most certainly won't be smooth. I have issues... many, many issues. But I think that's a part of the beauty of it. If I stop trying to be perfect I'm being more of who I really am. A friend of mine recently posted her family motto to FaceBook...perfect is boring. I like it. I wish all churches would adopt it and I think I'm going to remember that next time I'm talking to someone.

So it turns out I'm just as bad at blogging as I am about sending out photos...but before we get in to that I want to tell you a story about today.

We were on the way home from church when Grant, looking down at his shirt, says,"6, 8, sixty eight!" I look back at him and realize that he's actually reading the number embroidered on his shirt from Children's Place that says established in 89. After being amazed that my three year old was reading the number 89 upside down I began to reflect on the truth of that moment. Grant was completely accurate in what he was saying, it was just that he was looking at the number upside down. He wasn't wrong, just looking at it the wrong way.

So now back to why I'm such a bad blogger. Truthfully we've had a rough couple of months. We learned in early January that it's very likely that Grant has Celiacs disease. We've spent the last few months investigating what this means, what we need to do to diagnose and what the next steps are for Grant. I was overloaded in February planning a women's retreat for an unknown number of attendees and feeling the stress of being a perfectionist. The week prior to the retreat Brian was out of town and Sydney developed a horrible case of hives as a reaction to strawberries. Brian had been home for one day from his trip when he was in a minor car accident. Finally, in March Sydney went to the dentist with a toothache and in one hour our cavity free five year old went from cavity free to needing caps, a baby root canal and a new dentist visit each week!

To be completely honest I was beginning to feel a bit sorry for myself. I was so tired and really wishing for a normal routine that I lost sight of how abundantly blessed I am. Unbeknownst to me a friend noticed my change in attitude and began to pray. So this week God reminded me over and over just how really blessed I am. I went from reading my life upside down to right side up! My circumstances haven't changed but my perspective has. My normal now includes figuring out how to make gluten-free calzone but I have some really great friends who want to help me figure it out. I am surrounded by people who notice that I'm not as upbeat as normal and begin to pray. I am blessed with three beautiful children who are healthy happy kids, and I have a really terrific husband who is able to make me laugh in the midst of family chaos.

So reflecting on the last three months, in a world that is now right side up, I'll try to catch you up on the positive happenings at the Erie Boonstras. Brian is still busy at his job in Denver and been training for a 10K. I planned and then attended the hugely successful Divine Sisterhood retreat and have been doing some training myself. Sydney has reached the verge of reading and become a major little soccer player. Grant is close behind Sydney on the reading front and has learned to pee standing up. Cole is learning a new word every day and still thinks he's five years old which brings constant laughter to our home. Oh and did I mention that Brian and I spent 9 days in Hawaii?