Holly

Holly is one of my village people. Not THE Village People, just my village people. We have been a part of one another's lives for years. She has encouraged me when I was a new wife, a new mom and once again as the mother of elementary and preschoolers. She has loved on my kids and encouraged them too. That’s what I mean by village people. We are interwoven in one another’s lives. As I think it is meant to be.

Holly is funny and is forever making me laugh. She is genuine and fun and, while she would never believe it, a great mentor for me as a mom. I say that she would never believe it because Holly is beyond humble.

She has two children, one in college, the other in high school. She is married and considers her spouse a great parenting partner. “We are definitely a team, my husband and I. We balance each other out.”

Holly was such an encouragement when my kids were babies. She always knew the right thing to say. Now I know that it was because the hardest time for her as a parent was when her kids were infants.

It was a really big switch for me. Going from a corporate setting, working with mostly men, getting tons of accolades . To drop out of that and suddenly I’m making lunch for my husband and I was like “Did you LOVE your lunch?, wanting know every day “How was the sandwich?” That adjustment was really hard.

When you get your identity from what you do, instead of who you are. That makes it hard. I didn’t really learn or understand about being God’s beloved until later. That was part of why the infant stage was so hard.

Her advice to new mom’s is “Be near your parents…someone who could come over” I really wish you could hear her, because that statement was both funny and so true.

It was a concept I had difficulty with when my children were little…letting them go. I thought that somehow if I let someone else care for them SOMETHING would go wrong. I don’t know what, but something.

It has been good for me to build my group of villagers. People whom I trust, who both encourage me and who can take over for me once in a while. I’m so glad to know that Holly is a part of it. Partly because of her wisdom and partly because she makes me laugh.

It’s also very possible that the reason I identify so readily with Holly is that we’re both closet micromanagers. “My biggest challenge is to not micromanage my kids, to give them space to do what they can do by themselves.”

I struggle with this too, although Holly’s struggles are more about big life choices than mine. One of my biggest struggles is whether or not to put the tooth paste on my kids toothbrush. Giving them that responsibility means that I wipe toothpaste off the sink, counter, door and downstairs carpet (wait, how did that get there?) later on. It’s a daily struggle for me.

Which is why it’s so encouraging for me to know that despite her micromanaging challenges Holly has a great relationship with her kids.

They can tell me anything. I’m really approachable and compassionate. I always have advice but they can really tell me anything…As far as I know! At least I think they do.

It’s good to be a part of her village too. To watch her kids grow up, and to laugh about our challenges together.