Thankfulness

As 2010 draws to a close what are you most thankful for? This has been a topic of discussion in our house, and it has centered around more than just Christmas gifts. We’re trying to help our kids understand the magnitude of how unbelievably lucky we are; how thankful we should be to have this comfortable life in this comfortable home.

We have had some incredible teaching moments in our home as of late. Christmas Eve was a little unusual. We attended our local church, as we do every Christmas. However, our church also serves as a homeless warming center on Friday nights. This year, instead of making the warming center guests wait around for our service to be finished, our church leadership invited the warming center to be a part of our service. Everyone was welcomed in and people from all different walks of life read scripture, sang Christmas songs and took communion together. After the service we all ate a meal together. The boundaries of haves and have-nots was blurred, if even for a few hours one night.

I cannot imagine what it would be like to be homeless. To sleep on the streets; not to have the warmth of home, the luxury of full cupboards, and a plush bed to sleep in. I take for granted that Christmas Eve means coming home to twinkling Christmas lights on a tree surrounded by gifts. Whatever challenges I face, they are mild compared to the challenges faced by those who are homeless. I have never wondered where my next meal would come from. On a cold nights I have never wondered how to get warm.

I am thankful for all of the comforts that I have; a warm bed, a fridge full of food, a hot shower. I am thankful for friends who, regardless of their beliefs, baked cookies for our church to hand out to the homeless.

My children have played on and off with their various new toys, and I know that they are thankful for them. But I hope that when they remember this Christmas that their memory contains more than toys. When they look back my wish is for them to recall the dinner we shared on Christmas Eve, and the gifts that they gave; instead of the what they received.

Exhaustion

Are your kids hyper? Mine are hyper and they are driving me crazy.

I don’t know if it’s the extraordinary amount of sugar that they’ve ingested or the excitement from opening box after box of new stuff. It could be the unusual amount of time we’ve spent at home, inside due to coughs and colds. Perhaps it’s the additional sleep they’ve been getting…or maybe it’s due to lack of rest I’m not entirely sure. Whatever the case may be I’m not sure I’m going to be able to make it through tomorrow, while my husband is away at work.

I swear my youngest ran around in circles today for two minutes straight. At dinner he tried to eat his mashed potatoes without using his hands.

Then again maybe it’s me. Maybe I’ve ingested too much sugar. I have been pretty excited about the cool gifts I got this Christmas. Plus we haven’t gone outside as much as I’d like. Maybe I’m overly tired, or overly rested. Normally this stuff doesn’t get to me like it did today. But today my brain hurt. It’s a good thing DH was here…we were both going a little crazy. So we took turns dealing with the drama and the craziness.

I know that tomorrow is a new day. Maybe we’ll go outside; hit the park or an indoor pool. I’ll wear them out somehow. Because I can’t go on for another 8 days like today. I may have to be peeled up off the floor.

What do you do when your kids are hyper? Are there any special activities that wear them out?

Is it you or is it your kids that are the problem?

Slowing Down

How do you slow down at Christmas? I mean, is it even possible? Amidst the hustle and bustle of Christmas is it possible to enjoy what it is we’re trying to celebrate?

This year we cut out some of our annual traditions in order to make the season less stressful and more meaningful. We didn’t do our annual gingerbread party, we attempted to make gifts a more meaningful exchange. We’re incorporating giving to the homeless as part of our new traditions. And yet, this week has brought with it a to do list that has more tasks than it has fun.

And then in the midst of it all, my daughter taught me a very important lesson.

Yesterday I had a list a mile long of stuff to accomplish in order to make THIS Christmas season “perfect”. I had cleaning to do, party trays to arrange, laundry to wash, scrapbooks to finish, photos to order and emails to send. It seemed as though I would never get to sit down.

My sweet daughter pestered me once or twice to watch her puppet show. I acknowledged her and continued on my way, saying that I would be by in a minute to watch…after I had changed the laundry. Minutes turned into an hour and finally she stopped me and told me I had to come and see her puppet show…RIGHT NOW.

So I obliged.

Boy am I glad I did. Her show was all about the true meaning of Christmas, told as only a seven year old could. I wish I had taped it. As I sat there with tears in my eyes, watching her tell the Christmas story, I realized that she gets it, probably more than I do. She knows that it’s not about the loot or the food or even the decorations. I am so busy planning for the perfect Christmas, when all I have to do is enjoy what is before me.

Of course that doesn’t mean that I won’t still plan, organize and try to create a magical Christmas Eve and day. But I will sit more, even when it doesn’t seem like I have time.

So what about you? Had any of those aha moments lately? How are you trying to slow down this Christmas?

Letting Go

I am not the fun parent in my house. It’s not that I’m not a fun person (I think).  I just happen to be a task orientated person.  So normally getting the task accomplished is the main priority. It works great most of the time, because my husband is a pretty fun guy and he’s great with the kids.  They all have a good time, and I make sure everything gets done.  

However it also means I’m less fun.  

So my kids don’t always consider baking to be the most fun activity in our home.  Most of the time they’d rather go off and play than bake with me.  Really who could blame them?  I barely let them touch the measuring spoons, lest they spill the sugar!  I normally find that baking with them is much slower, messier and all around more stressful for me. I’m so worried about the end result that I forget the reason I’m baking with them in the first place.

HOWEVER, we are in that magical Christmas season, and baking and decorating cookies with my kids is a must.  So this year, with much effort I LET.GO.

I let go of making sure the ingredients were measured just right.  I let go of the sugar that got spill on the floor.  I even let go of making sure the dough got rolled out properly…most of the time.  Most importantly I let go of what the end result would be. 

You see my idea of a well decorated cookie looks something like this…

But in my kids eyes the point of decorating a cookie is simply to see just how much candy can be loaded on the candy vehicle.  So my kids idea of a well decorated cookie looks something like this…

or this…

or even this…

 

And truthfully it was worth it.  Because even though I will not eat most of what we made today, my kids had a great time and so did I. 

So what do you have trouble letting go of?  Who is the fun person at your house? 

New Ideas

When you have a bad day, what brings you out of it? How do you cope with the trials of life? I'm changing my blog a bit and want your input!

This blog is no longer going to be about MY family...but about the idea of family. It's about being a Mom and finding support from other moms. I've had too many conversations that made me realize that Mom's need some encouragement and support. So that's my idea. I'll start the conversation...but my dream is that everyone else gets to chime in to keep it going.

So to start I'm going to post something I wrote recently while I was away on a trip for my writing. If you're my friend on Facebook and you don't believe in God...please don't give up on the idea of this blog. I had to start with this post, because truly when my life gets crazy and when I'm the most hard on myself...the idea below is what I always come back to.

But before we start I have a few ground rules about the comments.

• Respect where everyone is coming from belief-wise, family structure, lifestyle. This means that people who believe in God have to respect the opinions of people who don't...and vice versa.
• I'm not doing this to fix anyone: If you're posting a comment offer compassion and empathy with abandon.
• Be gracious to yourself. Speak kindly about yourself

Okay...here goes...

Being a mom is hard work. It’s not helping that us mom’s are incredibly hard on ourselves. I daresay that if we were our own bosses, our performance reviews would be abysmal. Moms commiserate on weight issues, child behavior issues, housework, stress, the crazy overachieving mom next door, or the lazy mom who never does anything with her kids. None of us are living up to the super mom expectation, yet for some reason we continue to hold it up as an example of who we want to be. We are overly critical of ourselves and each other. And we are making ourselves crazy and tired and just plain unexciting.

So why are so many of us doing our task without passion? Where is the fire, the inspiration, the contagious joy for motherhood?

²⁸ “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

Mothers spend so much time caring for those around us that we lose sight of who we are. We lose sight of the woman that God created, the woman God loves.

If you’re like me you just zipped right by those last words and kept reading. I want you to stop now. STOP! Take a deep breath and pull your shoulders back. Sit up a little straighter because this is important. Now…God loves you. Yes, God loves you even without your make-up. Even after you’ve eaten one too many candies out of your child’s Halloween bucket. He loves you even when you snap at your daughter while she’s getting ready to go off to school. He loves you just the way you are and he will keep loving you…No. Matter. What.

As a mother, have you ever looked into the tear streaked face of your child, held that round face in your hands and said “I love you”? Have you ever sat in a room with a petulant child while you were ignored by him and said “I love you”, even when he won’t look you in the eye? Have you ever insisted your teenager hug you, just to be sure that she knows how much she’s loved? That is how God sees us. No matter what we do to him.

I don’t know about you, but just hearing that adds a little light to my step.

Okay...now it's your turn. What cheers you up? What can make a bad day turn around? What inspires you and brings you joy? And how do you make that a part of your life?