God has a sense of humor

I have no cool pictures to post of our latest snow day (which was beautiful by the way). I have very little in the form of written blog. The reason....Well my computer is currently sitting lifeless on my family room floor. This is now I know God has a sense of humor.

After my last post, I went on my way setting my own fun goals for being more productive but still spent my Sunday on my laptop planning my upcoming Disney vacation. Lo and behold in the middle of said planning, my laptop simply shut down. When that tiny piece of machinery tried to turn back on it could not find an operating system and, as a result, sits lifeless on my family room floor.

I know there's a blog in there about not finding an operating system in life. Maybe...when my laptop is back up and running and I am able (please God let me be able) to recover the five months of precious photos I may have lost, I will write that blog. However in the mean time I am unable to spend my day emailing, Facebooking and otherwise wasting my time on that seemingly indispensible machine.

So, while I will be VERY sad if I lost those photos (totally my own silly fault), I am thankful that I have been given this gift of living my life unplugged. I'm enjoying it. My kids are enjoying it.
My DH is enjoying it (all those to dos are getting done, don't cha know?). And I imagine, God smiling down on it all. Perhaps laughing a little at my type A'ness and at the result of his little life disruption. Because He does have a sense of humor after all.

A little overwhelmed

So I've been spending a little time exploring the blog world. I have known that there are some bloggers out there who are crafty. I have been to Etsy and seen the amazing things that people are creating at home but really...there are some crazy crafters out there. There's a ladies blog devoting to wood working,another one who posts new sewing projects all the time...who made a play house cover for her table...It's amazing. Really.Amazing.

So I sit here, a little overwhelmed because in my day I am lucky to get my house picked up, dishes done and spend a little quality time with my kiddos. So my question is, how do they do it? How is a person able to build a child's play house out of felt, with children in their house and live to blog about it?

There is part of me that wants to say that they can't. That something must be falling between the cracks and that they are pretending. That may be true. But there's another piece of me that hopes that it's not. That they are those amazing women who love to sit and play with their kids and then craft all night...that those women really are out there. That it is possible.

Don't get me wrong. I'm happy with where I am. I have great kids, my house is relatively clean and my laundry is (mostly) done. I'm able to spend time with my Maker each day and even manage to get a work out in here and there. But maybe just maybe I'll find time to add in some crafting. But for now, I'm just happy to look at what others are doing :)

True Confessions

This past weekend I spent two lovely days in the mountains of Colorado, without my children, at a women’s retreat. However, before I tell you about the amazing women, the great worship, the terrific speaker I want to get a few things off my chest.

1. I spend too much time on my computer. I check my email too often, surf the web, browse through Facebook and generally waste time on my laptop.
2. I don’t like gardening. I love pretty flowers, love the idea of gardening but quite simply don’t like the time that it takes to make a garden happen.
3. There are a lot of vegetables and other healthy foods that I just do not enjoy. This is a problem because I live in Colorado where EVERYONE eats healthy. I even make my kids eat some of it because I know it’s healthy, but honestly, I think I’d rather have a twinkie!
4. I love my children but I do not love pretending to be someone in Hannah Montana’s audience, nor do I love pretending to be some clone from Star Wars. Let them bring me stories to read all day…that’s my idea of heaven!
5. I don’t like cleaning. I don’t like picking up, filing things away, scrubbing toilets, mopping floors or really, anything else that is involved in making my house presentable.

Well, I could go on but you might be here all day. My weekend away was all about being messy, and how letting others see our messiness is what brings about genuine relationships. God isn’t disgusted by our messiness, so why are we? So I’ve decided to share some of my messiness. Rest assured I’m working on it. I do clean my house from time to time…and I do grow flowers. But I’m okay with being me. So now, I think I’ll go have a twinkie :)

P.S. In the spirit of messiness I've changed my header to include a photo of my messy kids, because I love them just as they are.

Just Breathe

This past Christmas I received an espresso maker. I can make my own mochas, espressos, and much to my childrens delight, steamed chocolate milk. I've discovered in the weeks since owning this small little appliance that making a mocha is an art. It takes time and because of that, I no longer down my drink as I'm walking out the door. I don't take it in a travel mug while I drive my kids to school. Nope,, I sit down and savor my mocha. I take the time to enjoy it. It seems silly to spend so much time making my drink just to waste it on the go.

Not coincidentally I'm also currently reading a book called Breathe:Making Space for God in a Hectic Life. It's a fabulous book and well worth the read. Thanks to the book and my newly discovered enjoyment of coffee time, I'm encouraged to take that same space in other areas of my life. I'm in no rush to push my kids to grow up. I'm enjoying my time with them (most of the time). I wish I could remember this more. I wish that I could ignore the to dos on my list more often and do the things that make life more enjoyable. It is a constant battle...the one between my to do list and the list of what I ought to be doing. They're different, you know. My to do list is composed of things that type A people think need to be done. Laundry, cleaning, telephone calls and the like. My ought to do list is composed of park visits, nerf gun games and dancing with my kids. I can't say I'd rather be doing the ought to do list. I am a type A personality. However, I do enjoy my children. Maybe a type A can change. Or maybe I just need to add "dance with my kids" to my to do list. Whatever the case may be, the battle wages on.

The joyful part of this post? I discovered today that I can download "Last Train to Awesome Town" from iTunes! Let the dancing begin!

Have you ever discovered something about yourself that was a complete surprise? Like the Seinfeld episode where Elaine discovers that she can't dance. She really thought she was good when in fact her dancing is an embarrassment! Well it happened to me today and I'm struggling to accept it.

Through the wonder of modern technology, I discovered today that I CANNOT sing. I mean I always knew that I wasn't going to be a rock star but I really thought that I could carry a tune. I sing songs to my kids before bed and they never complain. I sing along with all the songs on my iPod, in my car and at home and each time I have assumed that the melody coming out of my mouth isn't offensive. I sing loudly and proudly at church, figuring that I'm at least on key. I mean really, I sound good in my own ears!

Turns out every one of those assumptions is dead wrong. I mean, really, I think my DH should have told me by now that when I sing it sounds like nails on a chalk board! I may hit one or two notes but then there is cracking and the sounds that are coming out of my mouth are not at all melodic.

It's sad too because I love music. I love to discover new songs, ones that I immediately download and add to my favorites. I love rediscovering old favorites and singing along. I am almost always listening to music. It soothes my soul. I'm the driver on the road next to you that's singing along to her radio and doesn't care that you are watching. So to discover that when I open my mouth not only am I not soothing someone else's soul but there's a chance that the sound is hurting their ears...well it's just a big disappointment to me. So now I have vowed to stop singing along. The sound that I heard today will ring in my ears each time I open my mouth.

So where is the Joy in this? Right at this moment...it's that I know I now have the story I've been looking for to tell at my upcoming women's retreat. I've been racking my brain for a story that I can tell to put the women at ease. To welcome them to a weekend where we will be revealing our true selves, taking off the masks and accepting who God made us to be. To know that God loves us just as we are. So I suppose that is my other piece of joy. Maybe from now on I'll just sing when it's just me and God...because He loves me just the way I am. Noise and all.

Life is Too Short

Our household has been put on pause for the last two days. All of the activities, stuff and other goings on have been cancelled or otherwise avoided so that we can enjoy the blanket of white stuff outside our window. I love snow days. There is a magic that exists when the world is covered in white. The world is clean, and bright. There is beauty to be found all around. In the snow covered trees to the sparkle of the sun on the snow. Sadly it doesn't last. Often times it is interupted by fighting children, life responsibilities and warmer weather.

However as my children sleep from the long mid morning sledding adventure I can feel the magic of this snow day. We have no where to be, and just for today I do not feel the need to get stuff done. I wish every day were like this. A time that I could cherish what it is to be a child...enjoying the moment, without thinking of what else I have to do. The freeness to take time to breathe, look around and enjoy that moment.

I've been working on the skill of breathing as of late. Not breathing in the physical, if I don't I would die sense. But in the emotional, life giving sense. You see when I challenged myself to "love others without strings" little did I know what kind of journey I was in for. I found it difficult to love those in my every day. How exactly was I supposed to love people I'm not even connected to? I love my family but in the chaos that is three young children I was having a tough time liking them in the messiness. I was frustrated with days when I had just cleaned and those three beautiful "angels" left legos on the floor, car rides where, if I heard one more child whine, I was going to stop the car and make them all walk home, or my personal favorite, I would be making a quick telephone call but at that very second one of my beloved darlings would need help from me instantly and so would poke, tug or yell at me to get my attention! I also dearly love my husband but sometimes I wish he could put the dishes actually in the dishwasher instead of just on TOP of it. So I was in a place of wanting to love everyone but I wasn't doing a very good job of loving the few I had been entrusted with.

However God began, slowly but surely, reminding me that I couldn't possibly love others all on my own. Before I could love others I first had to remember how much he loves me...and he does even when I leave legos on the floor or I don't put the dishes in the dishwasher. In fact he loves me so very much that he sent his son here to suffer so that I could spend eternity with him. If he can love me that much than maybe, with his help, I can love those around me, even when it's not easy. He also reminded me that it is when I focus on the important things that it is easier to love. It is when I get caught up with the mundane trivial things in life that I am most frustrated when difficulties arise. So I'm learning to breathe and to take time to be content, whatever my circumstances. To find joy in the face of my two year old as he leaps from his top bunk, or the innocence of my six year old as she retells the story of her hurt feelings on the playground or even in the mischievous smile of my four year old as he pokes his sister for the third time with the knights sword...just because.

Perfect is Boring

So I sit at my computer this morning, thoughts rolling through my brain. I need to put them to paper (or laptop) or they just won't go away. I've been pondering some things for a long time and I think I've come up with a project for myself for the next little while. I'm typing it here because I'd like to document it's progress. Since I'm pretty sure no one checks this blog anymore (since I never post anyway!) I think it's a safe place to document my new adventure.

We visited a new church on Sunday to watch a family member be baptized. The service was beautiful and the speaker was quite good. In fact I've been pondering some of the things he said for two days. The verse was 1 Peter 3: 8-9. His topic was being a good listener in a sermon series on "Doing Life Together". Since he ended his sermon with a plug for his churches life groups I can only assume that his objective was to drive people to join a Life Group. What I've been pondering however, were his statistics on loneliness in America. He stated that 1 in 4 Americans would say they don't have ANYONE that they feel they can really talk to. The average American has 2 good friends with which he or she feels safe to share. In an age of social networking applications one might think that this wouldn't be possible. But clearly it is and I believe the evidence of it is all around us.

So I began to think about what life would look like if those of us who followed Christ stopped living in a L'Oreal commercial and started really following Christs teaching. What if our goal wasn't to convert our neighbors to Christ but simply to love them? Would those numbers change?

So my new litte project? Well it's to simply do just that. I'm going to attempt to love my neighbors (whether they live near me or not), with no expectations. I'm going to try to listen more than I talk. I will attempt to love my neighbor as myself. I know this isn't going to be easy and it most certainly won't be smooth. I have issues... many, many issues. But I think that's a part of the beauty of it. If I stop trying to be perfect I'm being more of who I really am. A friend of mine recently posted her family motto to FaceBook...perfect is boring. I like it. I wish all churches would adopt it and I think I'm going to remember that next time I'm talking to someone.